"Don't let this get around, but caviar is said to be a great aphrodisiac. It has
all the 47 vitamins known to man."
~ Earl Wilson~
A millionaire gourmet tells the story of the evening he indulged in some
stimulating caviar at Stockholm's plush Savoy Hotel. At the time he was
only an
apprentice millionaire gourmet. He had no way of knowing that the potent,
prolific sturgeon, which produces the fashionable fortifying fish eggs in erotic
profusion, might be going the way of the passenger pigeon, the buffalo, and the
bald eagle, that what many have called mankind's most civilized food may well be
sacrificed for "civilization" (as those out to pave planet earth define the
word). In fact, our gourmet was unaware of most of the many popular
misconceptions about caviar. At any rate, when he finished his first delectable
portion and the captain silver spooned some more choice Beluga on his plate, he
was so pleased that he tipped the man extravagantly. No sooner had he finished
this helping than the captain heaped a third serving on his plate, which called
for another generous tip. This went on until the sated gourmet had the bill
toted up. The caviar box was weighed and the budding gastronome was glad to be a
millionaire, for he was charged for each provocative portion and presented with
a bill which even he found "incredible," and which disproves the old dictum that
if you have to worry about the price of caviar, you shouldn't order it.
The moral of this story, in the millionaire's words, is that "caviar is not...
passed around like mashed potatoes." For caviar, like truffles and p4t~ de foie
gras, is more than a mere delicacy; caviar is a symbol of elegance, the
quintessential fare of czars and czarinas, queens and courtiers, kings and
concubines. The choicest pearls of the Caspian and these sturgeon eggs are the
only caviar worthy of the name, bearing no relation to the salmon eggs which
make red caviar cost up to $100 for a "Russian pound" of 14 ounces today, and
the supply is definitely limited. Indeed, the Colony, a posh New York
restaurant, threatened to stop serving caviar not long ago because it was so
scarce one helping would cost $20, and Romanoff Caviar, the chief American
importer, has had to ration the fashionable fish eggs this year, for the United
States has been allocated 140,000 pounds less Iranian caviar than the year
before. Neither does the situation seem likely to change, even with the recent
Russian announcement that they will market a synthetic product. This pseudo
caviar has already been produced by the Soviet Union Laboratory of Physics, and
Moscow plans a modern factory to capture the world market more than 100
capitalist firms are already bidding for rights to the ersatz combination of
albumin, polysaccharides, organic products and carbohydrates, but it's safe to
predict that the commissars' artificial fish eggs won't please the palates of
many fastidious gourmet lovers.
Caviar has been regarded as a love food with few peers precisely because it is
so elusive, expensive and delicious. No delicacy save truffles would be more
appreciated by anyone's paramour at today's prices, but much medical opinion
also vouches for the vaunted food's aphrodisiac powers. In cases of complete and
partial impotence, Dr. William J. Robinson, who at one time headed Bronx
Hospital's Department of Genitourinary Diseases, advised that his patients eat
heartily especially of caviar among the foods he recommended as constituting a
beneficial diet. Scheuer, for another, wrote in his Alphabet of Sex that "Many
observers ascribe a beneficial influence to the eating of fish, oysters... and
caviar..."