"Full nakedness! Cast off your linen white
and closely clinging, limb to limb unite;
Off with those filmy veils: while they are on
Between us stand the walls of Babylon.
Join breast to breast, our lips together seal
And ne'er shall wagging tongues our joy reveal."
Paulus Silentiarius
Nakedness is the ultimate spice for any aphrodisiac dinner (the roses of the skin are more delightful than the gold of any dress, as Apulcius put it), but there are several alternatives for those wanting to drape the body to better advantage. It might be best, for instance, to emulate a wily lover like Cleopatra, who wet her sheer clothing so that it clung to her curves, or have your body painted by an artist like Albery, whose skin canvasses (A la Utamuro) are the rage of Paris today. Or anyone a bit modest can buy a figleaf and turn over a new leaf. Fake figleafs (equipped with polyester loops that intertwine with rings of pubic hair) are available for small sum from the Adam and Eve Figleaf Company, 1505 John Fitch Blvd., South Windsor, Conn. 06074. Now there's customer service beyond the call of the muse. just be sure you're gentle when turning over the new leaf.
In any event, sexologists from Secaucus to Sweden have assured our undercover agents that the diner is definitely the best place setting for any mini orgy, the ultimate aphrodisiac. It doesn't really matter much if the meal ends on a Murphy bed, a folding water bed, or some modem counterpart of the nineteenth century Celestial Magnetico Electrical bed invented by England's fantastical Dr. Graham (which he claimed rendered its male users eternally potent and its female occupants prodigiously fertile). Such intimate furnishings do, however, make good conversation pieces over a last glass of champagne.
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